This knowledge is useful, so read this well – it took me more than 3 years in order to find this technique, I hope you will discover it in yourself in much less time.
What’s this about?
Basically, your body and mind, in one word, being, is more often than not under some form of stress, be it physical or psychological. Any kind of stress will result in emotions. You can be stressed by a hammer hitting you on the finger (a physical stress) but the end-result is emotions (in this case, probably anger).
This stress will resurface every now and then, depending on your lifestyle, but it will resurface in form of emotions. Imagine yourself as a pressure valve – you accumulate (emotional) pressure and then, if you don’t have a way of releasing it, and mind you, an effective way, you break apart, release a lot of it in a spur and then you’re empty. And then you start accumulating stress again.
Well, after 3 years of being aware of this fact and convincing myself that playing drums or writing or meditation or boxing would help me get it out, I realized that they might, but none come as close as simply crying under the shower.
Yup. That’s right. I cry under the shower when I’m feeling stressed out because that’s my natural way of releasing all the shit outside without freaking anybody out. You know, you could cry in the park or in the street or near another person, but I hope you have someone cry-worthy for that then.
(Wow! Cry-worthy! That’s my new favorite word!)
But yeah, cry under the shower because it muffles the sound, no one wonders why you’re all alone (I sincerely hope you can at least shower alone), and the warm water feels nice. The symbolic cleansing accompanied by a real one, you know, the whole package!
I think that girls generally have this part really nicely covered because the societal expectations on them aren’t the same as for boys. That shit about boys not crying is shit. We feel the same pain and respond in the same manner. Crying is, for a lot of men, still a taboo, even when they’re all alone, with no one to make fun of them. It’s just something they try never to do, ignoring the fact that, one day, they will cry, regardless of do they want it or not. It’s the same attitude people used to have towards sexuality (at least in highly orthodox countries). You know, masturbation wasn’t something you were supposed to do. Well, this is the same, after a fashion. People act like they don’t have to do it, then break apart, do it, and then the circle starts again and people act like they don’t have to do it again.
In my view, this is a very limiting mindset which possibly makes you chose situations that won’t result in you crying. I have no proof of this – this is just a stab in the dark – but it does seem true (we should probably have studies comparing lifestyles of people that cry and of those that don’t). But even if you don’t unintentionally chose non-stressful situations because you’re afraid to cry, you still have a big disadvantage: you’re emotionally more unstable than your crying counterparts. You’re maybe two heated sentences away from crying as a baby and maybe it’s not strategically best. Maybe you need to assert control in front of a group of people. Maybe you just need to show that you’re strong. Maybe something else. Maybe it’s okay to cry – but then it should be you who decides, not the pressure valve. You can’t get rid of it (actually you can, lobotomy works great) but you can learn how to use it and control it.
So there, I gave you a great tool in order to manage your emotional self. Use it. Get used to your crying self. Note which muscles contract when you cry, and why your throat hurts when you do. Become acquainted with your crying self. It’s as important as your industrious, hard-working self, and infinitely more important than your persona.
Party hard, cry harder.