Crying under the shower

This knowledge is useful, so read this well – it took me more than 3 years in order to find this technique, I hope you will discover it in yourself in much less time.

What’s this about?

Basically, your body and mind, in one word, being, is more often than not under some form of stress, be it physical or psychological. Any kind of stress will result in emotions. You can be stressed by a hammer hitting you on the finger (a physical stress) but the end-result is emotions (in this case, probably anger).

This stress will resurface every now and then, depending on your lifestyle, but it will resurface in form of emotions. Imagine yourself as a pressure valve – you accumulate (emotional) pressure and then, if you don’t have a way of releasing it, and mind you, an effective way, you break apart, release a lot of it in a spur and then you’re empty. And then you start accumulating stress again.

Well, after 3 years of being aware of this fact and convincing myself that playing drums or writing or meditation or boxing would help me get it out, I realized that they might, but none come as close as simply crying under the shower.

plač

le paint art

 

Yup. That’s right. I cry under the shower when I’m feeling stressed out because that’s my natural way of releasing all the shit outside without freaking anybody out. You know, you could cry in the park or in the street or near another person, but I hope you have someone cry-worthy for that then.

(Wow! Cry-worthy! That’s my new favorite word!)

But yeah, cry under the shower because it muffles the sound, no one wonders why you’re all alone (I sincerely hope you can at least shower alone), and the warm water feels nice. The symbolic cleansing accompanied by a real one, you know, the whole package!

I think that girls generally have this part really nicely covered because the societal expectations on them aren’t the same as for boys. That shit about boys not crying is shit. We feel the same pain and respond in the same manner. Crying is, for a lot of men, still a taboo, even when they’re all alone, with no one to make fun of them. It’s just something they try never to do, ignoring the fact that, one day, they will cry, regardless of do they want it or not. It’s the same attitude people used to have towards sexuality (at least in highly orthodox countries). You know, masturbation wasn’t something you were supposed to do. Well, this is the same, after a fashion. People act like they don’t have to do it, then break apart, do it, and then the circle starts again and people act like they don’t have to do it again.

In my view, this is a very limiting mindset which possibly makes you chose situations that won’t result in you crying. I have no proof of this – this is just a stab in the dark – but it does seem true (we should probably have studies comparing lifestyles of people that cry and of those that don’t). But even if you don’t unintentionally chose non-stressful situations because you’re afraid to cry, you still have a big disadvantage: you’re emotionally more unstable than your crying counterparts. You’re maybe two heated sentences away from crying as a baby and maybe it’s not strategically best. Maybe you need to assert control in front of a group of people. Maybe you just need to show that you’re strong. Maybe something else. Maybe it’s okay to cry – but then it should be you who decides, not the pressure valve. You can’t get rid of it (actually you can, lobotomy works great) but you can learn how to use it and control it.

So there, I gave you a great tool in order to manage your emotional self. Use it. Get used to your crying self. Note which muscles contract when you cry, and why your throat hurts when you do. Become acquainted with your crying self. It’s as important as your industrious, hard-working self, and infinitely more important than your persona.

Party hard, cry harder.

 

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8 thoughts on “Crying under the shower

  1. You sound depressed, randomly crying and having these “days” of emotional turbulence and tempestuousness isn’t normal at all.

    Have you considered this? Talking to a professional may help you
    Best,
    M

    • Look man, thanks for the concern, but I think that everyone has days when they feel stressed out and bad, so in that respect, it IS normal.
      My crying isn’t a condition, it’s a deliberate technique. So even if I am depressed (which I consider highly unlikely considering the fact that I maybe do it once per month), it’s still a genuine technique that would help me – if I was depressed.
      Thanks again for the concern, but I genuinely feel fine most of the time.

      • Good to hear, I’m glad you’re okay. You know yourself better than anybody, and much better than what I could surmise from your persona on this blog.

        In saying that however, I as an individual and all of the people close around me don’t have what you describe, and if they did I would try to offer the same support that I’m trying to offer you.

        Feeling a little stressed or negative in small parts of your day sounds normal, though I don’t think it should last a whole day. What you have described to me sounds normal – to somebody who is emotionally unwell. Somebody well versed in meditation such as yourself should easily choose positive thoughts over others. And although you say it’s deliberate – I can’t think how you would make yourself cry without already feeling internal hardship. Again, you know yourself better than anybody, especially me. I don’t want to come across as presumptuous and I know how having conditions or feelings imposed upon you that aren’t accurate can be very frustrating, so I’m sorry for that.

        Regardless, I think actually talking to somebody, a friend, family or a professional. would be a healthier method for whatever you’re going through that causes your stress and bad feelings. Here’s an analogy:

        You start to feel sick in the stomach a few days every month. What do you do? Regardless if you think it’s a minor concern or a non-existent condition – you tell your family or go to the doctor. An outside perspective and someone with either more or a different life experience can help with a second opinion or to give advice on your condition – maybe it’s just hunger pains. A trained professional who is capable of accessing whether your sickness really is sickness, you it’s nothing to worry about, in fact it was just hunger pains all along – a natural part of life.

        What you’re doing is every time you feel sick, you go and sit in the toilet in isolation and make yourself vomit up everything in your stomach, rather than going to the doctor.

        A very extreme analogy, and again I’m sorry for inferring and surmising based on your blog, I truly do know how frustrating it can be and although I understand you know yourself and may be comfortable with your emotional state, I feel obligated to comment a second time just to ensure I got a point across even after your have responded with that. Disregard this all if you please, and thankyou for listening.

        Best regards,
        M

      • I understand, and I thank you one more time, you’re very kind. You are right that you should (I should) talk to a professional even if it’s not actually a problem. I will most certainly do it, because it’s all a part of my psychological maintenance, but I don’t feel hurried to do it because I genuinely am moderately happy like 80% of the time, the rest being divided between euphoria and feeling bad. I actually talked to a friend psychologist a couple of months ago, and according to her, things were fine, except for a minor emotional-cognitive dissonance which I just feel I have now solved because it never happens anymore.

        It is possible that I’m suffering from depression and a host of other conditions, but my point is this: EVEN IF I’m suffering from it, I have found techniques that work for me (subjective perspective) and techniques backed by science like meditation (objective perspective). I repeat again: you’re right that I should talk to somebody, and I do, because that’s also my technique. 🙂

        Thank you for the concern and for the kind comments. 🙂

    • Very glad to hear, on a lighter note:

      Love the blog. Great resources and interesting perspectives. Perhaps we may chat regarding your life some time – very interested.

      Best,
      M

  2. Thank you. This explained why crying in the shower feels better than crying not in the shower… Anxiety and depression sucks man. *hugs* unless you aren’t one for hugs in which case *long distance air hugs*

  3. But…What if crying just isn’t you? I haven’t cried since I was maybe 9 or 10 years old, it’s not from some attitude of being macho; my way of thinking just changed. Now I don’t cry, as far as I can tell I can’t. My mindset just doesn’t really consolidate with the behavior. I’ve tried, especially when I’ve been made to feel like there’s something wrong with me because I don’t feel like crying. It just doesn’t happen.

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